i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
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