so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
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