if i can run in heels then i can drive
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
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