Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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