We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
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