You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
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he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
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Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
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