You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Randomize