I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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