I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
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