she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
