My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
These 25 People Are Obsessed With Pizza
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
16 Sexual Experiences EVERYONE Should Have At Least Once
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.