After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
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The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
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My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".