He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
did you just send me my own nude
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
