real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
Randomize
