So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
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