It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
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