are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
Randomize
