Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
