What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
Randomize
