My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize
