Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
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