just survived the first fart of the relationship.
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize