oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
Randomize
