It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
