are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Randomize
