Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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