You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
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