cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
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