You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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