I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
Randomize
