Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
