Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
Randomize
