Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
Randomize
