try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
