Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
Randomize
