every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
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