Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
