If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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