is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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