Did you just see the Batmobile???
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
Randomize
