I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
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