Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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