Your favorite bartender is back from prision
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
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