didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
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