my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
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