So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
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