I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
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