I feel like I'm in dance class right now
I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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