Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
