Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
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