Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize
