Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
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I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
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there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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