so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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