best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
Randomize
