you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
Randomize
